I remember as a child telling her that she was not allowed to pass away until I completed a set list of task, which are as follows:
1. I had to graduate from high school
2. I had to get married
3. She had to see me have kids
4. She had to be around to see me successful as an adult.
I hate to say it, but she has done more than what I asked... she's been there to see me have 2 beautiful daughters, I'm married to my best friend, I own my own home, and other things as well. The thought and sudden reality that she really might not be around for much longer hurts me terribly, and I could hear that realization in my own mother's voice as well tonight as I talked to her too, that perhaps we might be coming close to see the end of the matriarch of our family here in Canada pass away. It hurts me terribly... almost as much as it hurt me when my step-dad forced my grandmother to move out of our home when I was only 12 or 13, and couldn't deal with my routine messed up. She has always been there, and I do regret that in the past couple years, not calling or visiting her as often as I could have. I do though, have an opportunity which I am trying my best to take advantage of, which is bringing my daughters to see her, so they can at least be told when they are older, even if there are not so many pictures of it, that they were able to be there with their great-grandmother and spend time with her as young children. They help brighten her stay in the hospital, that's for sure... and I am so proud to be teaching my children that respect of elders is so important, even if it is visiting them in hospital to brighten their day.
Just sitting here while everyone here at home is asleep and I am not able to fall asleep so soon yet, gives me time to think of all the happy memories I have of my grandmother. For that, I am so thankful, as well as being given the gift of being able to speak another language that is not French or English. One day, I want to take my girls to Poland, to show them around the country that their Grandmother and Great-Grandmother were born, and left so my mother could have a better opportunity in a non-Communist country at the time. Had she not left Poland, I don't think I would be here today.
Mamma, Babi.... Thank you...